Time to practice your shuttingtheheckup....
Shundra is a 32-year old African-American who wants you to know that she speaks, that she speaks Ghettoese, and that she just keeps speaking long after it would have made sense to shut up.
Below, in all caps, is her actual dating profile. Yes, DATING profile. She expects you to ask her out based on this lunatic rant. If you are interested, she is quite satisfied with dinner and a movie. Since not everyone speaks Ghettopsycho, I have provided a translation of her ghettopsycho rant into the King's English....
O.K. MEN ITS LIKE THIS
Don't expect me to be rational, to negotiate, or even to be responsive to you and your needs. I am, after all, the modern, Black, Feminist woman! I make the rules and the world can go to hell if it doesn't like my rules!
I'VE BEEN ON HERE NOT EVEN 3 WKS I RECEIVED A COUPLE OF #'S & 1 OF THEM WAS FROM [name deleted] & 2 DAY HIS BABYMOMMA SOON 2 BE WIFE CALLED ME
Be certain that dating me just once will result in your being dragged onto the Jerry Springer show at least twice! I like to air my laundry in public!
I HAD NO CLUE HE WAS INVOLED WIT ANY 1, I DONT HAVE TIME FA FEMALES 2 BE CALLIN MY PHONE SO WHAT I'M ABOUT 2 SAY LISTEN & LISTEN WELL,
When one is as ghetto fabulous as I am, hangin out with chicks and learning to spell complex verbal units like "one," "to" and "for" are just too much of an investment to expect me to make. If you are going to cheat on me, it is really for the best if you keep it a secret, because I WILL make a scene!
I AM NOT ON HERE FA A 1 NITE STAND, BOOTY CALL, OR 2 BE DA SIDEKICK OR JUMPOFF, SO PLEASE SAVE YA SELF SUM TROUBLE BY NOT EVEN SENDIN ME YA # CAUSE IM GONNA BLAST U LIKE IM BLASTIN HIM
1) See "Jerry Springer" reference above....
2) Oprah has me convinced that no matter how much of a wastrel that I have been with my own life to this point, that I have the right to expect men to treat me as if I were not on psych drugs, had no criminal record, had a functioning car and credit card, and hadn't had six babies by seven different men.
I DO NOT HAVE TIME FA THESE CHILDISH A** GAMES
I am in my 30s and have just awakened to the fact that I have, myself, wasted three decades with my own childish a** games. When men were ready to settle down with me in my twenties, I was busy "having fun" and "living it up," because that is what the talking goat in my Women's Studies class said I could do now that the sexual revolution had taken place. Unfortunately, I didn't foresee some of the consequences of fulfilling my feminist destiny, so right now I don't need anyone else making a situation that I have already screwed up any worse. So even though I haven't managed to become an adult in three decades, I expect you guys to have your crap straight and pronto! I am, after all, a princess!
THIS IS HOW U GET CUT,
See "Jerry Springer" reference above....
SO BE REAL CAUSE IM ALWAYS 100 REAL,
You should act like what you really are, after all I am doing you the favor of letting you know that I am a ghetto fabulous psycho by posting this screed to a dating site. Remember the Golden Rule, fellas!
I DONT WANT NOBODY WHO IS STILL BANGIN DA BABYMOMMA, I DONT NOBODY'S HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND OR SUM WHO GAME AINT TIGHT, I MEAN D*** WHERE R MA REAL MEN AT, I LIKE 2 BE DA 1 & ONLY, THIS IS WHY IM SINGLE BECAUSE N***** ALWAYS TRYNNA GET SUM EXTRA A** ON DA SIDE BUT IM NOT DA 1. I NEED SUMBODY THATS GONNA BE MY PRINCE & IM HIS PRINCESS,
1) See "princess" reference above.
2) I am a real handful, as are all psychos. You will need to devote all of your time to romancing me because it is very difficult to a) get me into the straitjacket, and b) get me out of the straitjacket, so if you are wasting your energy bangin on the babymomma, you ain't gonna be able to keep up with me and my straitjacket olympics here.
BUT I C MEN R DA SAME ALL OVER NO MATTER WHERE U MOVE 2, I'M WRITIN THIS NOT BECAUSE I'M BITTER BUT BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF DA GAMES I'M READY 2 SETTLE DOWN BUT R MEN R NOT.
1) I can't spell, so I play phonetic games and hope you can figure it all out. But just wait and see how long it takes me to start complaining that you don't "communicate" with me!
2) I have wasted three decades of my life playin' games with my life, and it has made me exceedingly bitter to wake up and realize how I have wasted myself.
3) Though I have been playin' games my whole life, I don't like for the guys that are into me to be playin' games, because, after all, there are a different set of rules for guys and gals.
4) I had a blow up in my last relationship that was so bad that the cops told me I needed to get out of town. Now it looks like a second blow up is coming here! Where, oh, where can I go to find some milquetoast men who will simply be quiet and let me have my way as a "strong, independent, black woman?"