Chicks can't do math.

Let's get something straight, Chickies - God made you beautiful because you can't do math!!!

Blue-Eyed Seduction (her real screen name) is a 38-year old woman whose willowy blonde hair and pillowy lips (and other pillowy attractions, if you get my drift) make her every 15-year old's dream. Make her a teacher and she would be the motivation behind the whole Russian army pulling itself through puberty simultaneously.

And she really wants to be taken seriously (unfortunately). She is a financial advisor by trade, which is quite worrisome, when you read what she has to say about her mixed-race heritage:

I AM HALF BLACK FOOT INDIAN, IRISH AND WHITE.

Yes, she is half Blackfoot Indian, half Irish, and half Caucasian. Exactly. And this woman is gonna be calculating dividends, interest rates, and maybe balancing your money market account?

The one thing we know for sure about her is that she may be half Blackfoot, half Irish, and half white, but she is 100% bad at math.

See? This is why God gave chicks boobs - it's His divine exemption for you: you don't have to do math! Find a semi-bright guy to do it for you!

And for those of you who might be clients of Blue-Eyed Seduction, if she really is a financial advisor, you might want to find a semi-bright guy to do that for you as well.